Fireweed (Acrylic on Canvas)

Going for a Van Gogh style here. At first, I didn’t think much of this. But on further consideration it’s kind of…okay. A little more effort on the leaves and stems would’ve helped a lot. Still. It’s probably better than I could do 🤷‍♂️

Cartoon Characters (Acrylic on Canvas)

Since these all showed up on the same day I think we can safely assume they are all by the same person. Probably a kid (I would hope so, at least) so I won’t be too unkind. They look like what they’re supposed to look like but other than that? Not great…

Marbleized Canvases (Latex Paint? on Canvas)

Well we’ve had a couple more of these things show up here I guess. These were small, on a kind of plastic-coated (from the feel?) canvas. Not great, not awful. Just kind of…eh. 

By the way: by my math, that thing on the right is our 1000th painting 🥳🎉🎊🍾🎊🎉🥳

I’d said a few days ago that I was going to call it quits when we made it to Painting 1000. But I’m not. I’m just going to slow down a bit. Maybe only hit Value Village once every week or two.

The (Value) Village Art Gallery appreciates you.

Christmas Tree in the Middle of Nowhere II (Acrylic on Canvas)

Gotta love these Paint Night suggested topics. That’s almost certainly what this (and the previous painting) is/are. 

Imagine: at some random local restaurant one night fairly recently (and we know it must have been “fairly recently” because no one in their right mind would have kept this horrid painting for very long) in between the Pizza Shooters, Shrimp Poppers and Extreme Fajitas, a bunch of wine-drunk Soccer Moms painted a stupid, boring, pointless Christmas scene very much like this one.

The most horrifying part? There are probably 15 or 20 more of these paintings out there somewhere, all showing varying degrees of incompetence, and all of them in the process of slowly, ploddingly, inexorably staggering/shambling towards Value Village, like zombies.

Brrr….

Christmas Tree in the Middle of Nowhere (Acrylic on Canvas)

We have yet another not-very-good one on our hands here, and it is almost certainly the result of a recent Paint Night.

Honestly this is just more a picture or a drawing than it is a painting. It’s like if a little kid drew a picture. And I don’t mean that as an insult to the artist (although the artist certainly should be insulted!) : I’m not saying that the artist has the talent of a little kid. I’m saying that, as a relatively-incompetent painter myself, I too have often caught myself painting something without any depth or dimensions or shading or anything that makes a painted image feel organically/emotionally/spiritually alive on the canvas. Like a kid drawing something on construction paper.

That’s what this is like. And the next one too.

Flowers? Maybe? (Acrylic on Canvas)

There’s another painting rather like this one that we installed a couple of months ago. I wonder if it’s by the same guy:

https://valuevillageartgallery.blogspot.com/2026/05/flowers-acrylic-on-canvas_02086044744.html?m=1

White paint on a white canvas always feels a little weird to me. These flowers (if they actually are flowers) aren’t bad but they’re a little too imprecise for my taste. This doesn’t feel Impressionist to me: it feels more…gimmicky. Anyway. It’s not bad but it’s not what I’d call good either.

It just is…

Believe (Acrylic on Canvas)

Awful. Just awful.

Hearts (Acrylic on Canvas)

Yeah, it’s kind of dumb. But a kid or teenager probably did it and maybe this was all he or she could come up with. We won’t be too unkind. 

If all the white areas of canvas here had been filled with paint that contrasted well with all the red, blue, pink and plum, this would look a lot better.

(“Teenager’s Room” better, that is. Not “Normal Human Being’s Wall” better.)

Dogs and Saying (Acrylic on Wood Plank)

These are actually sort of cute dogs. Especially the white one: he or she has a derpy little look on his or her face. I don’t absolutely hate this. For what it is (semi-kitschy, semi-cloying, “Kountry Kitchen”-type art), I mean. Not all art has to be Important. It just shouldn’t be stupid or ugly. This is neither of those things.

Dogs make this world a better place. They deserve our support.

Eyes and Clouds? (Acrylic on Canvas)

I know I sometimes wind up saying this a lot but yet again: I have no freaking clue what this is supposed to be about. In this case we have eyes, some things that either look like clouds or maybe (?) pieces of brain matter flying through the air? Combined with the speckles/spatters of Red Mist (also blue mist?) maybe this is a crime scene of some kind?

I dunno man…

Drips (Acrylic on Canvas)

The existence of this…thing… perfectly sums up why certain paintings get discarded/abandoned at Value Village…

What In God’s Name Is This?!? (Acrylic on Canvas)

This…whateverthehell it is…is strangely repugnant.

Is this a manga or anime thingie of some kind? Are they those doggone Transfarmers or Ponkemons I keep hearing about? Is this a sex/fetish deal? A moose/pie/bee Furrie cult? I’m asking these questions but in all honesty I really don’t want to know. Just make it stop…

Desert Scene (Acrylic on Canvas)

Nondescript and thoroughly average.

Still: it’s a solid 4 on my “1 to 10” scale. Definitely not the worst we’ve seen.

Colorful Bird (Acrylic on Canvas)

This is…really not bad.

I am a sucker for brightly-colored Art. I actually kind of like this. Good job, anonymous artistic-type person.

??? (Acrylic on Canvas)

 Really not very good…

Winter Landscape (Acrylic on Canvas)

Again, pardon the glare: this was framed and behind glass. A slightly-odd way to treat a painting but pfft what do I know?

This is well done but really kind of…blah. Isn’t it? Not trying to be mean. It’s just kind of…”eh.” I could easily see this hanging in my grandmother’s parlor. If I had a grandmother with a parlor. But I don’t. Nevertheless, someone held on to this for a long time so it must’ve really meant something to someone. For close to half a century. 

1979 was a very good year. I remember it well.

Nude Study (Acrylic on Canvas)

This came very very very close to making it into the illustrious (Value Village Art Gallery Favorite) club. Because it is classically artistic. No nonsense. No gimmicks. Just legitimate talent and effort expended to create something good. I really do like this a lot. But then there’s…that head. It looks a little bit like Peter Cushing to me. And it was really hard for me to get past that. I could live with the slightly-wonky feet and hands, but that head. Brrr.

Regardless, this is a good painting and we are glad to have it here. For realz.

 

Daisies? (Acrylic and Plaster on Wooden Box Frame?)

A little out-of-the-ordinary. And only marginally interesting. I almost didn’t include it. But it IS art after all, so 🤷‍♂️

On second thought: As paintings of flowers go, this is actually a pretty nice one. We have some legitimately flower-like perspective, depth, drooping and shape. I’m a fan of amateur flower paintings when they’re done well. This one was.

On a different subject: we are getting close to the end, folks. I am going to try (?)) to call it quits when we hit our one thousandth painting. Which should be sometime before the end of this month (July of 2026).

It has been a lot of fun, for sure 🙂

Girl (Acrylic on Canvas)

Really nice. And somewhat unusual I think. I’d love to know the backstory on this one: who painted it, who was painted, and why it wound up discarded/donated at Value Village.

Home (Crayon and Pencil on Paper)

I like this very much. Not just because it’s feels like it’s from another time, and is cute and may (!) have been done by a little kid. It’s just…decent. A decent example of representational art. It’s not annoying or stupid or pointless. Someone made this and it was worth making.

Good job!!!

Tiger (Acrylic on Canvas)

This is demonstrably and objectively not a very good tiger. But we can tell that it IS a tiger at least. So there’s that…

Flowers (Acrylic on Canvas Board)

Very very average. And about par for what we see around here. This isn’t awful per se but it’s sure not very interesting or original. It’s colorful at least, which is something I’m usually a fan of. Believe it or not, I’ve seen flower paintings done entirely in varying shades of black and gray.

Landscape (Acrylic on Canvas)

Black, white and gray. Dreary as hell. We see this kind of thing more often than I would like. If Art imitates Life then someone needs to cheer the hell up. And just use charcoal next time maybe…

Fishing Village As Seen From the Ocean (Watercolor on Parchment)

Not much to it. But it’s pretty good I think.

Christmas Window and Animals (Acrylic on Canvas)

Kitschy. Probably a Paint Night subject.

It’s okay. Not everyone is a Rembrandt.

Flowers (Acrylic on Canvas Board)

Those black center flower structures are kind of weird (I googled them but can’t figure out what this part of a flower is called) but otherwise I actually kind of like this. It was big, like 20”x24” or so. Good work.

Fireweed? (Acrylic on Canvas)

Very colorful. And very very average. It’s no masterpiece but it looks like what it is, more or less, so that’s something.

Not much to make fun of here, unless I wanted to be a complete jerk in a low-hanging fruit kind of way. Which isn’t totally out of the question hereabouts, usually. I’ll hold off though.

Wolf and Snow (Acrylic on Canvas Board)

Pardon the glare.

I’m not into this kind of thing but it looks like a real wolf, which around here is somewhat of a miracle.

This is a lot better than I could do, for sure. And someone held onto this for a long time so it must have been very much appreciated.

Great work, Tony!

Sunlit Sky and Mountains (Acrylic on Canvas)

You know in some Peanuts strips when something bad happens to Charlie Brown and he hangs his head down in the very last panel and says “I can’t stand it”?

Yeah.

No Idea Whatsover (Acrylic on Canvas)

Is this even finished? Is it supposed to look like this?

With Modern Art, it is often difficult to tell 🧐

Cityscape (Oil on Canvas)

 (Value Village Art Gallery Favorite)

This is an oldie I think, judging by the condition of the canvas, the back, and the frame itself. Guessing 1970s or older? Maybe? I could be wrong though. It’s not like a Carbon-14 dated it or anything.

Regardless, this is really really great work. It feels…unconventional and vaguely 1920s Mexican to me. Cluttered. Like a Diego Rivera. But what the hell do I know? I just work here.

We are proud to have you here with us Bobby.

Love (Acrylic on Wood Plank)

River: you did so great! This looks wonderful 🙂

(I don’t give kids the usual treatment.) 

Black Plant (Acrylic on Canvas)

Weird black plant or tree with weird black leaves. No idea what that is all about or why it even exists. Which is probably why it wound up at Value Village: someone else felt the same way I bet…

Flowers in a Turtle Neck Sweater (Acrylic on Canvas)

We seem to have a lot of really not very good flower paintings lately. It’s puzzling. I kind of like flower paintings myself. But this shit seriously tests my patience.

Do better, flower painters!

Birds and Branch (Acrylic on Canvas)

I see so many paintings like this. I mean sooooo many. They all generally look like what the artist wanted them to look like, I guess, so you could call them good paintings in that respect. But…you look at them and all the other paintings so very like them and you wonder…why. Like why?

Just…why? 

Paint Spatters (Acrylic on Canvas)

As these things go, this one isn’t bad.

Seriously: it really is kind of difficult to make intentional/deliberate paint spatters/splatters appear to be convincingly-randomly spaced/colored/sized/shaped etc.

Not that I like this. Nope nope nope. I am not a fan of this Pollock-y stuff. Way too Modern for me.

The world started going downhill sometime around 1913.  

Water Lily (Acrylic on Canvas)

The Water Lily itself is actually pretty good, considering. As is the semi-Impressionist reflection of it in the water.

The rest of this (i.e. the background, those strange branches, etc)? 

Not so much.

However: you have my permission to keep painting, my friend 🤨

Sunflower (Acrylic on Canvas)

I like well-done paintings of flowers. I even sometimes like extreme amateur flower paintings, if they show some grit and spunk and guts. I very seldom give a flower painting a bad review.

This one is slightly better than the very worst one in this gallery. Slightly. The one thing it has going for it is that there are some reasonably-conscientious Sunflower details here.

Soooo…keep trying my friend. “It Gets Better.”

Cherry Blossoms and Lanterns (Acrylic on Canvas)

One of the better ones. I guess…

I’m installing 14 paintings today and this is in the top three or so. 

There are two others that are arguably as good as (or possibly better than) this one, and one that obviously blows everyone else away. See if you can can figure out which three I’m talking about 😬

(Postscript: my reviews will give it away. I’m so dumb…)

Sunset on Water (Acrylic on Canvas)

On my “one to ten” scale, with one being “please throw acid in my eyes” and ten being “I want to have this painting’s baby”, this is a solid number two.

Get it?

Patio Lights (Acrylic on Canvas)

The lights themselves and the cord they are attached to are actually pretty good. Except that, towards the middle and then further back, they seem (?) to be defying the Law of Gravity.

The rest of this? Feh! Too much purple and pink. Static and dimensionless railing. Are those mountains or clouds in the background? Those purple things I mean. If they’re mountains, they don’t seem to be attached to the ground. If they’re clouds, they are way too uniform. Whew!

I think it was Rembrandt who said “Decent LED lighting does not a good painting make”

Mountain Range (Acrylic on Canvas)

Remarkably uninteresting…

do what YOU LOVE (Acrylic on Canvas)

Not very good: trite sentiments, strange black flowers, inconsistent text (cursive and print, lower case and upper case) and too much blue, purple and pink. 

(For more information on the “Six ‘No-Nos’ for Amateur Artists”, see literally every eighth or ninth review here. Gadzooks!

Me? What i lOvE dOiNg is writing mean reviews of demonstrably-bad paintings. So…we’re good, right?

Bore Tide (Acrylic on Canvas)

Well. You learn something now every day. I’d never heard of a bore tide until today and one of the most impressive ones in the world is right here in Alaska. Very interesting!

This painting, on the other hand, is not…

 

Landscape (Oil on Canvas)

(Value Village Art Gallery Favorite)

Sorry about the frame shadow along the top 😬

I love this! Also, I am almost certain that there is another of Mae Krum’s works installed here in our gallery somewhere. We are proud to have her. She is what I believe Amateur Art should be about: people doing their best and painting things that matter, whether the mattering is subtle or profound, simple or complex, quiet or loud. 

Is the worst real Landscape ever painted more important than the best Pokémon or Troll or Olaf ever painted? You bet your ASS it is!

Going by the condition of the canvas I’d say this is an old one, 1970s or 1980s I’m guessing? Also the signature: people don’t sign their paintings this beautifully anymore. Often a “signature” nowadays amounts to a series of initials, a two-digit year and a symbol of some kind. More like a serial number or product ID than a signature. Pfft. Anyway…

Here’s hoping that Mae is still with us and fighting the good fight. It’s pretty doubtful though, honestly. I can find no reference to her online. Which isn’t a good sign. I’m thinking she’s Pre-Internet.

Wherever you are Mae: we are proud to have your work on display here…

A Smurf or Skeletor of Some Kind (Arylic on Glass)

If you’re going to paint a cartoon character and you don’t want a snarky review of your work, do something to ensure that it will never ever ever eventually wind up at Value Village. Okay? Maybe just burn it after you’re done with it? Or (in this case) dash it into a few hundred pieces, sweep it into a dustpan, and dispose of it safely in a small box or bag that is clearly marked “BROKEN GLASS!!!” at the transfer site. Cuz pally if you don’t, then your artwork is fair game up in here. Capische?

Now on to the review:

This sucks…

Dragonflies (Acrylic on Canvas)

Three of the six usual tell-tale signs of the Amateur Artist are present here: blue, purple and pink. I suppose this could be considered as being practice but honestly I see so much of this stuff that it is sometimes just plain disheartening.

Folks. Please: paint something worth painting. Even if you do it badly, it’ll mean so more than this…heartless, harmless, soulless, gutless, pointless, thoughtless extruded slurry of cloned jive.

Northern Lights (Acrylic on Canvas)

I think the ratio of bad Northern Lights paintings to good Northern Lights paintings here is probably something like 12 to 1. Possibly 15 to 1.

Care to take a guess where this one falls?