Cats in Progress (Acrylic on Canvas)

This is pretty well-executed despite its being incomplete. I sure wish these cats had their eyes though. Creepy!

Young Woman (Acrylic on Canvas)

At first glance this seems kind of…okay. But on closer examination, there’s maaaaybe something up with the profile, specifically the area of it hidden by the lock of hair. I could be wrong. But the idea of it is messing with me a bit. Apart from that, I like it. As usual, I find myself wondering what the story is here. Is this a painting of a real person? Who was she? What was her relationship with the artist? Was there a relationship? Why does she look so upset?

We may never know.

Mermaid (Acrylic on Canvas)

Two mermaid paintings on the same day, but not by the same artist: what are the odds? This one is not so great. Like, realllllly not so great.

C’est la vie…

Mermaids (Acrylic on Canvas)

The underwater flora and fauna are…really not bad at all. The mermaids though…whew! They’re pretty rough. Scary even. Me no like…

Still Life (Oil on Canvas)

(Value Village Art Gallery Favorite)

Pretty wonderful: we don’t see nearly enough of these anymore. Workmanly Still Lifes such as this have gone the way of the Dodo, the Phone Booth and the Personal Web Page.

Man but do I love these colors! The table! The background! The banana! The apple! The plum! That freaking plum is the plumest plum that ever plummed a painting.

This was quite old by the way, judging by the state of the back of the canvas and the frame.

The colors, man. The colors!

Flower (Acrylic on Canvas)

Despite the fact that this flower appears to be inexplicably floating in mid-air, I like it! Good job, artiste…

Seattle (Acrylic on Canvas)

I actually really like the cityscape, the tops of the skyscrapers on the horizon with the orange sky behind them really pop. But the water and reflections are pretty awful. Pity…

Tactile Textures (Acrylic on Canvas)

If there’s an identifiable object in either of these paintings, I can’t find it. I think this is just some visible textures on a field consisting of various shades of blue-green. Nondescript, safe, inoffensive, palatable. Will not cause a state of thoughtfulness, introspection or indigestion to occur. (Use only as directed.)

Vivisected Bear (Acrylic on Canvas)

Gimmicky and poorly executed. This much blue, combined with an object in silhouette, is usually the tell-take sign of an amateur artist. I won’t go so far as to call this unimaginative. Instead, I’ll call it ersatz, banal, cloying, feeble, tired, and irksome.

Irksome!

Fireweed? I think? (Acrylic on Canvas)

Horrid. Simply horrid.

I need a vacation…

Tree Ocean Cliff (Acrylic on Canvas)

Why bother?

Seriously: what is the point of this?!?

Holy smokes. Paint something that matters, folks. Something Real and from the Gut. Something! Anything but this…jive…