Birch Trees (Acrylic on Canvas)

It’s no masterpiece: it’s uninteresting, formulaic, boring. But the colors are kind of nice. And we’ve definitely seen worse.

I can live with it.

Tree (Acrylic on Canvas)

Very uninteresting.

Strangely-Colored Forest (Acrylic on Canvas)

Really really odd. The pastel pink. The pastel blue/green. The black! The white! And…those trees. Dang. I usually try to find at least a little something positive to say. In this case: this reminds me of a chalk drawing on an old-school legitimately black school blackboard. So…there’s a nostalgia aspect that somewhat redeems this peculiar little number.

Abstract (Acrylic on Canvas)

I initially thought it was just the two paintings. But then a third showed up days later. #3 looks enough like the first two that I think it’s a safe assumption that they’re all by the same culprit (er um artist rather.)

Actually the first two aren’t bad.

The third needs some work.

Moonlit Tree (Acrylic on Canvas)

Really not very interesting. Also: silhouettes! And blue! Pfft…

Faux MCM Abstract? (Acrylic on Canvas)

With a little less white canvas left remaining this would have been a lot better than it is. However, even this isn’t that bad. It manages to work, sort of. It grabs me…

Forest Creek (Acrylic on Canvas)

Considering how low-effort and seemingly low talent this is, the combination of colors somehow manages to make this seem like it’s a lot better than it actually is. I know that probably doesn’t make sense. I don’t understand it myself. But if a little bit more detail work had occurred, this thing would have been pretty nice. As it is, it feels unformed, coarse and rushed. Oh well.

Pumpkins (Acrylic on Canvas)

I can’t explain it, but for an utterly boring, trite, plebeian, and predictable painting of pumpkins, this is really pretty good.

I can honestly and unironically say that this is, by far, the best painting of pumpkins we’ve ever exhibited here.

Raven (Acrylic on Canvas)

You may think I’ve lost my mind but this thing came really Really REALLY close to being a “(Value) Village Art Gallery Favorite”!!! For a semi phoned-in and formulaic painting, there is something about this that I find to be extremely appealing. It’s puzzling: the raven is demonstrably not so great (that beak! those legs! that branch! that TAIL! dang!) but…somehow, this works!

I’m genuinely sorry I didn’t buy this :/ 

Good work, CS!

Jellyfish (Acrylic on Canvas)

Really not that great. But the “bell” of this jellyfish is strangely appealing. I’m a fan of the color orange though. So maybe that’s it.

Seasonal Trees (Acrylic on Canvas)

Gimmicky. But definitely not the worst we’ve seen. I won’t even hold the Blue and Purple against it.

It’s a solid 3.2 on my One to Ten scale. 

Moose and Treeline (Acrylic on Canvas)

Two violations: 1) black paint and 2) Something In Silhouette.

And it doesn’t help matters that the trees are wonky and spirally-looking and bent at the top. And that the poor moose looks a bit too much like Bullwinkle. Or (more accurately) Snoopy. Ugh.

(Postscript) The signature got to me. Sigh.

Okay fine. Keep trying CS. Don’t take my mean-spirited and overly-unkind review to heart.

(Haha “to heart”: get it?)

Mountain Lake (Acrylic on Canvas)

Somewhere in our gallery I am almost certain that there are at least two other versions of this exact same scene. 

You know what that means? Of course you do! It means that here we have yet another…PAINT NIGHT SUGGESTED SUBJECT!

Whoever invented the concept of “Paint Night” should die a slow and painful death ☠️ ⚰️🪦☠️

Postscript:

Yep: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisRinZcA_YJC9d3-069YCttt45mcBjPEQhK0MhbgHthTr4kmIEfw1CVyxXAGt75scPAkfYDlIn5Pdwgp8_bhNnpu-fmQdLGOdo80eXiZczYMaswR1ynq_x2E5aPmh60FPtG6y6QPHpirgv7Y9LQ6h_AaTCU1jD9fLaan5mckI75H3ImV-l854WpCOhg46Z/s3549/IMG_9825.jpeg

Sailing Ship? Fruit Basket? (Colored Paper Pieces and Paint on Parchment)

I can’t tell what the heck this is but it’s kinda cool. Old too, I think. Maybe (?) 1950s/1960s? But what the hell do I know? It almost seems like it could be commercial / mass market art. But the materials are so cruddy-looking I figured it must’ve been by an amateur.

If someone can demonstrate that it’s not the work of an amateur, I’ll remove this. Otherwise, it stays. 

Impressionist Something Or Other? (Acrylic on Canvas)

Despite the improvised snarky title, I actually like this. I’m not sure what it is, but I like it.

Seriously.

Reindeer and Moonlight (Acrylic on Canvas)

Here we have two violations of my “Six Signs of Amateur Art”: need I list them again?

Okay: blue paint, purple paint, black paint, grey paint, unpainted (white) canvas and things in silhouette.

Thoroughly average, not interesting, yawn-inducing.

Marbleized Canvas (Latex? Paint on Canvas)

I often say this in regard to these things: I’m not a fan, but it would appear to be a decent example of this technique.

I wonder how hard it is to do a bad one with this seemingly semi-formulaic process?

Is it even possible?

Fireweed (Acrylic on Canvas)

Going for a Van Gogh style here. At first, I didn’t think much of this. But on further consideration it’s kind of…okay. A little more effort on the leaves and stems would’ve helped a lot. Still. It’s probably better than I could do 🤷‍♂️

Cartoon Characters (Acrylic on Canvas)

Since these all showed up on the same day I think we can safely assume they are all by the same person. Probably a kid (I would hope so, at least) so I won’t be too unkind. They look like what they’re supposed to look like but other than that? Not great…

Marbleized Canvases (Latex Paint? on Canvas)

Well we’ve had a couple more of these things show up here I guess. These were small, on a kind of plastic-coated (from the feel?) canvas. Not great, not awful. Just kind of…eh. 

By the way: by my math, that thing on the right is our 1000th painting 🥳🎉🎊🍾🎊🎉🥳

I’d said a few days ago that I was going to call it quits when we made it to Painting 1000. But I’m not. I’m just going to slow down a bit. Maybe only hit Value Village once every week or two.

The (Value) Village Art Gallery appreciates you.