Tactile Textures (Acrylic on Canvas)

If there’s an identifiable object in either of these paintings, I can’t find it. I think this is just some visible textures on a field consisting of various shades of blue-green. Nondescript, safe, inoffensive, palatable. Will not cause a state of thoughtfulness, introspection or indigestion to occur. (Use only as directed.)

Vivisected Bear (Acrylic on Canvas)

Gimmicky and poorly executed. This much blue, combined with an object in silhouette, are usually the tell-take signs of an amateur artist. I won’t go so far as to call this unimaginative. Instead, I’ll call it ersatz, banal, cloying, feeble, tired, and irksome.

Irksome!

Fireweed? I think? (Acrylic on Canvas)

Horrid. Simply horrid.

I need a vacation…

Tree Ocean Cliff (Acrylic on Canvas)

Why bother?

Seriously: what is the point of this?!?

Holy smokes. Paint something that matters, folks. Something Real and from the Gut. Something! Anything but this…jive…

Jellyfish and Words (Acrylic on Canvas)

It’s been such a long, tough day for Art that I am again going to say that, considering our other installations of late, THIS one isn’t all that bad…

Overly-Colorful Forest (Acrylic on Canvas)

I don’t even know what this is. A skyline made of balloons? Also, we have awful, low-effort birds. The trees look like vines.

I just don’t know anymore man…

“Who Says You Can’t Explore?” (Acrylic on Canvas)

Literally no one says that.

Now “Who says you can’t paint?” Some folks do say that. I happen to be one of them. And I’m saying it right now.

Autumnal Trees (Acrylic on Canvas)

 MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!

Winter Scene (Acrylic on Canvas)

I’m giving this my best Ignatius J Reilly “Ho hum…”

You’re welcome.

Patterns (Acrylic on Canvas)

Both the same size, sitting right next to one another, and they arrived at VV on the same day. So I’m assuming they’re by the same artist? Our other installations here today are so awful I’m going to say that I like these. No mean review will be forthcoming.

Woman in the Rain in the City x3 (Acrylic on Canvas)

There is no way I am going to waste three reviews on this drivel when one will suffice. Because, believe it or not, I think there’s a chance that these were done by three different people. Maybe? Check it: the buildings are different, the brush strokes are different, etc. I’m thinking (?) that maybe various Paint Night organizers sometimes get stuck with X amount of paintings at the end of a get-together when the perpetrators bail/escape/abscond without their various Objets d’Arte, and they subsequently, periodically ditch them, en mass, at good ol’ VV. Perhaps? Regardless, these are just a few more examples of soulless, heartless, gutless, zipless, pre-fab modular plastic faux-creativity. Pastafazoola!