Landscape (Oil on Canvas)

 (Value Village Art Gallery Favorite)

I love this! Also, I am almost certain that there is another of Mae Krum’s works installed here in our gallery somewhere. We are lucky to have her. She is what I believe Amateur Art should be about: people doing their best and painting things that matter, whether the mattering is subtle or profound, simple or complex, quiet or loud. 

Is the worst real Landscape ever painted more important than the best Pokémon or Troll or Olaf ever painted? You bet your ASS it is!

Going by the condition of the canvas I’d say this is an old one, 1970s or 1980s I’m guessing? Also the signature: people don’t sign their paintings this beautifully anymore. Often a “signature” nowadays amounts to a series of initials, a two-digit year and a symbol of some kind. More like a serial number or product ID than a signature. Pfft. Anyway…

Here’s hoping that Mae is still with us and fighting the good fight. It’s pretty doubtful though, honestly. I can find no reference to her online. Which isn’t a good sign. I’m thinking she’s Pre-Internet.

Wherever you are Mae: we are proud to have your work on display here…

A Smurf or Skeletor of Some Kind (Arylic on Glass)

If you’re going to paint a cartoon character and you don’t want a snarky review of your work, do something to ensure that it will never ever ever eventually wind up at Value Village. Okay? Maybe just burn it after you’re done with it? Or (in this case) dash it into a few hundred pieces, sweep it into a dustpan, and dispose of it safely in a small box or bag that is clearly marked “BROKEN GLASS!!!” at the transfer site. Cuz pally if you don’t, then your artwork is fair game up in here. Capische?

Now on to the review:

This sucks…

Dragonflies (Acrylic on Canvas)

Three of the six usual tell-tale signs of the Amateur Artist are present here: blue, purple and pink. I suppose this could be considered as being practice but honestly I see so much of this stuff that it is sometimes just plain disheartening.

Folks. Please: paint something worth painting. Even if you do it badly, it’ll mean so more than this…heartless, harmless, soulless, gutless, pointless, thoughtless extruded slurry of cloned jive.

Northern Lights (Acrylic on Canvas)

I think the ratio of bad Northern Lights paintings to good Northern Lights paintings here is probably something like 12 to 1. Possibly 15 to 1.

Care to take a guess where this one falls?

Lake Scene (Acrylic on Canvas)

There was a time when this painting would have been granted immediate “Value Village Art Gallery Favorite” status. But that time is long past. While this painting is very good and is certainly in the top ten percent of the paintings here when it comes to talent and effort displayed, it isn’t a “favorite.” The style of it is that which I have come to think of as being…well…there’s no nice way to say this…SLIMY. It just feels slimy, gelatinous, and oily. Viscous. Unpleasantly so. The colors are too rich somehow. I can’t explain it. Anyway, this is a really nicely-done painting that I would not want hanging on any wall in my home. Sorry.

Dog (Acrylic on Canvas)

This is one of those canvas painting boards with a picture already drawn on it. Kind of like a “paint by numbers” kit but for little kids. If we couldn’t see the lines, this one would be marginally interesting in a Primitive / Outsider Art kind of way. But…

Patriotic Easter Eggs? (Acrylic on Canvas)

No so great. But honestly we’ve seen much much worse. It’s a 3 on my “1 to 10” scale. I am absolutely not kidding…

Confetti? (Acrylic on Canvas)

Low Effort. Medium Talent. Phoned In. On Autopilot. 

That having been said, I genuinely like this painting far more than the usual jive we see here: trolls, pumpkins, moonlit nights, owls, mushrooms, poorly-done mountain scenes, northern lights, etc.

It’s a solid 3!

Various Colors (Acrylic on Canvas)

Believe it or not, on my “1 to 10” scale, I’d call this a solid 2. 

If not for the brown, it’d be a 3…

Fictional Continents (Acrylic on Canvas)

Maybe this was for a class assignment or class project of some kind? Regardless, it’s not very good.

How does one manage to make imaginary land masses look so bad? 🤷‍♂️

Jellyfish (Acrylic on Canvas)

One of the weirdest-looking jellyfishes I have ever seen portrayed via paint upon canvas. Its head (?) looks more like a mushroom cap or a lima bean and its umm tail (?) looks like knotted ribbon. Or a crayon-colored spinal column.

Very damned odd… 

Tree Line (Acrylic on Canvas)

Previously we were talking about the concept of “bad” and how to recognize it in a painting.

Can you see it?

Fox Wearing Gru Scarf (Acrylic on Canvas)

This seems to be a day for weird-looking animals on canvases. Dang. This one is very distinctive and peculiar. I wouldn’t call it bad. It’s just…different.

When I see “bad” there’s no question. This isn’t bad. It’s just unusual. Too much white (unpainted) canvas left remaining though.

Strange Cat, Pumpkin (Acrylic on Canvas)

This was almost certainly perpetrated by the same culprit as was responsible for the odd-looking owl below. In hindsight, I realize that I should have grouped them together as one installation 🤨

This cat is so weird-looking that I think I kind of sort of maybe (?) am starting to like it. Just a little bit.

Taken together, these two paintings seem to be growing on me. Not sure why. Maybe I’m coming down with something 🤒

Owl in a Cornucopia Hat (Acrylic on Canvas)

Now that…is a very strange-looking owl.

Orange, green, black. Just a horrid combination of colors. Ghastly.

And is that…snow? What the heck?!?

Skulls and Bat (Acrylic on Canvas)

Why me?

If that’s supposed to be a tree, it looks more like coral. Feh!

But y’know, actually…those skulls are kinda cool-looking… 🧐

Riverbank Scene (Watercolor on Parchment)

This one is pretty nice I think.

It’s been my experience as the curator of the (Value) Village Art Gallery that, generally speaking, artists using watercolor as their medium more often than not usually seem to know what the hell they’re doing. I mean, going by memory, I don’t think we’ve ever had a demonstrably awful painting here that was done in watercolor.

I hope I didn’t just jinx us 😬

Anyway, this is a nice little watercolor painting. It’s a shame that the artist didn’t sign it.

Bluebird (Acrylic on Canvas)

This is...either pretty good or kinda good. It probably looks like what the artist wanted it to look like. It's not my cup of tea though. This feels very Easter-y, Spring-y. And I'm a Summer or Autumn. Still. A lot of time and effort probably went into this, so I won't make too much fun. It's okay!

Snowman (Acrylic on Canvas)

Nope. Just...nope.

Nope!
 

No Description (Acrylic on Canvas)

This is understated to the point of being invisible, nonexistent. It's a cypher, an enigma. There's a pattern, but it's...really kinda not very there.

I honestly can't tell if this is sorta good, or sort of a copout. You tell me..