Yet Another Mini-Retrospective (Acrylic on Canvas)

Here we have another couple of paintings that I am 99% certain were painted by the same person. 

When I see stuff like this (and I really do see a LOT of it) I often wonder what the person responsible would be capable of if he or she were to paint something that mattered, from real life, from the heart, that they used the correct colors of paint with. This is a case in point. These paintings (and the many many many like them up in here) aren't awful per se, but they certainly aren't very good. Moreover, the subjects are unimportant, tedious, tiresome, overdone, and uninteresting in the EXACT SAME WAY that are the works of easily 50 to 75 other alleged artists here. They're all "not that great" in a very similar fashion. The REASON for all this is that...there was clearly no soul, no heart, no spirit, no blood or sweat or tears expended in their collective creation. Or any organic inspiration.

But most importantly, there was no...love? Yes, that's it. 

To paraphrase a line from a recent movie: "When I see your paintings, they look like they were painted with no love."

EVERYONE: stop painting from (and being inspired by) Social Media: TikTok, Instachat, Snapgram and Flapcrap. This is important: stop doing things simply to be seen having done them! Instead, try painting for YOURSELF, and from the GUT. I know you can do it. You DO have a gut: paint from it. Paint Tough. Every single freaking time. Otherwise you're faking it and it does not count.

Girl Frog in Front of Mirror (Acrylic on Canvas)

I...well...hmm.

I...just...I don't know what to say.

Sigh. Okay, I'll try. This painting is weird and inelegant but it's not inherently bad: it probably looks like what the artist wanted it to look like (a female frog admiring her mascara work in front of a mirror.) But for some reason I don't absolutely hate this. There is...something about it (certainly not the choice of colors) that is just a little bit appealing.

Artist: have you considered painting something that matters? Something worthwhile? Give it a shot! I'd love to see what you manage to pull off.

"Camping" (Acrylic on Canvas Boards)

The "canvas board behind a canvas board" bit feels a little pointless and gimmicky to me, but eh. There's definite skill here and I like that. Going by the info on the back (which is where I found the title) and the age of the canvas board itself, I'd say this is from the 1980s or even earlier? I googled the artist's name and found nothing.

I resort to the following comment (or something like it) a lot but it's appropriate here: this is no masterpiece but it is REAL art by a real ARTIST - the subject is one we see a lot of around here, but at least no Pokemons, gnomes or "Live Laugh Love" faux-profound slogans were involved.

Nice work, my dude/dudette.

Again with the Mini-Retrospectives?!? (Acrylic on Canvas)

I am 99% sure that these abominations (er um striking and thought-provoking objets d'-arte) were perpetrated (um um um lovingly created) by the same talentless hack (masterful and innovative Rembrandt-in-training!), so I have grouped them together. Which will make it easier to burn (admire and appreciate) them.

FOLKS, I AM JUST KIDDING. Not every painting has to be "Art": for some people, doing demonstably goofy shit like this is simply a fun way of passing the time. Don't take my riffing on stuff like this too seriously. 

But artist: DO BETTER! 🧐

😘

"Stand By" (Acrylic on Canvas)

I hated this the moment I saw it.

But then I managed to find a Silver Lining. This gimmicky, faux-clever (i.e. stupid) painting is, either intentionally or unintentionally, maybe/kinda/sorta ironic? Or Meta? Like...the canvas has no actual art happening on it, right? So there's this old-school television message "Please Stand By", as if maybe the artist poking fun at himself/herself, but essentially saying "I got nuthin: Please Stand By". Or like..."Art" itself, concept/purpose/relationale-wise, is broken and Out of Order? Perhaps?

Maybe not.

Tree (Acrylic on Canvas Board)

I'm glad this tree and the previous one have wound up being side-by-side. The two are perfect examples of what can be wrong, and right, with Art. And artists.

I rather like this. It feels REAL. I don't mean that the subject is a real scene or place, although it may well be. And I don't mean it is a magnificent painting. What I mean is this feels like someone who is trying hard and doing something real, BEING real, not wasting paint and cluttering up a canvas with bullshit. It's not great. But it is good, and it is real. Sometimes that is enough. 

Artist: you give me hope, my friend.

 

Tree and Moon (Acrylic on Canvas)

Sun? Moon? Who knows? Who CARES? This is yet another nondescript, mundane, heartless, soulless, spineless, spiritless, mindless and desultory canvas. It's not actively bad, or good. It's...a null. Artistically inert. An Art Vacuum. Artist: for Ghod's sake, paint something in front of you. Even if it's bad, it'll be REAL. As opposed to this bad painting of a bad, phoney, ersatz subject. 

Prairie Child with Strange Rabbit (Watercolor and Pencil on Canvas)

This painting reminds me, to a remarkable degree, of a painting featured here back in October of 2024. Judge for yourself:

 https://valuevillageartgallery.blogspot.com/2024/10/portrait-of-child-pencil-and-acrylic-on.html?m=1    

I could be wrong though.

This one isn't so great but it shows promise. Sorta? No gnomes, birch trees or anime characters were involved so that's a plus. A painting of a real, honest-to-God human being is a Good Omen, even when it's not so great art/skill-wise. 

Keep it up, artistic-type person :) 

Mini-Retrospective (Acrylic on Pine Board?)

They're...okay. But painting on wood like this feels kinda gimmicky to me. Maybe use cheap canvas boards and focus more on getting better at painting instead? This level of ability is pretty much what we most commonly see here. Not trying to be mean, it's just that I can point to probably 50 paintings here that would make you say "hey! these all kiiinda look like they were done by the same artist!" But...they weren't. That's thay scary part. 

They weren't.

 

Greek Nude (Acrylic and Pencil on Canvas)

I think (?) the writing is Greek. I'm curious about what it says, but not curious enough to go to the trouble of entering the text into an online translator. I find myself wondering what this would have come out looking like if it had been completed. And what the hell it's all about. 

The young lady looks like she might be some kind of cartoon character. Or maybe she's one of these Ponkemons I hear the neighborhood kids talking about while I'm relaxing on my front porch swing, whittling and drinking ice-cold lemonade and reading the Saturday Evening Post.

Whatever the case may be, she's certainly a sturdy little thing, isn't she? va Va VOOM!!!

(Addendum: my curiosity got the better of me. This has something to do with the idea of Aphrodite Pandemos ("Aphrodite for the People": physical love relating to the body and its senses i.e. lust, desire, carnal/sexual love) and Aphrodite Urania ("Aphrodite of the Heavens": love relating to the mind, intellect, emotions and soul/spirit.) 

"The More You Know."

Technicolor Octopus (Acrylic on Canvas)

At the (Value) Village Art Gallery it is often either Feast or Famine when it comes to Amateur Artist's "Most Overused Backgrounds": we tend to have a lot of Black (which I hate) or a lot of White (which is dull, tired, tiresome and lazy). On top of that Unfortunate Background Circumstance, the Tutti Frutti Octopus is...kinda plebian, purposeless, soulless, imitative Lowest Common Denominator jive.

(Other than THAT, it's fantastic!)

Southwestern Architecture (Acrylic on Pasteboard)

(Value Village Art Gallery Favorite)

These are the first Best in Shows I've inducted in probably well over a month, maybe longer. 

Every once in a while I see something like these two and my gut tells me "Paint By Numbers" kit. But those usually involve much more detail and many more colors so I think someone did these all on their own. And I like them very very much. It's a pity they were not signed. These appear to be quite old, judging by the condition of the back. I'm guessing (?) 1970s or 1980s? I could be wrong though. I am going to regret not buying these.

Trees, Stars, Fireflies maybe? (Acrylic on Canvas)

More freaking BLACK! Good Grief. Amateur artists just loooove their black don't they?

In other news, I have no idea what's going on here. The lights appear to be going straight up AND in the direction of the horizon. Or is the horizon inexplicably directly above the kneeling person? Is a ceremony taking place? Is a Spell being cast? Is this girl catching Lighting Bugs in a container of some kind? Wassssssuppppp?

We just don't know...

Magnolias Maybe (Acrylic on Canvas)

Holy Smokes what IS it with some artists-in-training and their love for black paint? With a lighter, brighter, less mausoleum-y background this would be halfway decent. As it is, it's...eh...it's still not bad. Unless we take into consideration the hazy-looking greenery on the right. Weird!

Landscape (Acrylic on Canvas)

It's definitely umm...well...kinda awful, isn't it? But even so, it doesn't annoy me in the way that some of the other awful paintings here do. It's bright at least. The blue isn't quite the boring blue we see so much of. And there's no purple. So it's...reasonably, acceptably, understandably awful. Not...unlawfully awful.

Non-Functional Martini Glass (Acrylic and maybe Fabric Paint on Canvas)

This is freaking ridiculous. Do you have any idea how difficult it would be for this glass to not tip over? And what the hell is the 15+ layer liquid the glass? Aaaand I'm no expert but I don't think (?) one typically uses a swizzle stick in a martini glass. And for whoever is thinking "it's not a swizzle stick: you stab the olive with it!" my response would be "How exactly does that work in this case, with that curly-cue end on it?!?"

Very dumb. Pfft.

Bunny and Bee (Acrylic on Canvas Board)

The only positive is that the flowers on the left aren't completely awful. 

Regulars here are probably are aware that I fairly consistently find something nice to say about almost any painted flower. The ones we are seeing here are sort of fun (in an amateur kind of way.) The stems are good as well.

That's all I've got. Sorry.

Ocean Sunset (Acrylic on Canvas)

This is the best painting we've added today. 

Hard to believe, isn't it?

Yaks! (Acrylic on Canvas)

Today we have yaks. Yes, yaks. Two yaks, in fact. Yak One and Yak Two. Yak Two and Yak One. They can do anything anything anything under the sun. Yaks are a very Alaskan thing but surprisingly these are our first yaks EVAR at the Good ol' (Value) Village Art Gallery. And they arrived on the same day. Dang! What are the odds?

(Ackshully the odds are pretty high. Since we see a statistically-significant number of what I call "Paint Night Suggested Subjects", which is in all likelihood what we have right here.)

That having been said: Yak #1 is...the FIVE HUNDREDTH PAINTING to wind up adorning our beloved (Value) Village Art Gallery. 

500! Paintings! Hard to believe, isn't it? I'm actually kinda proud. Oftentimes when I come up with what I think are interesting ideas, I will either a) not follow through with them, or b) start them but then get bored with them quickly and wind up just giving up. I toyed with the idea of the (Value) Village Art Gallery for six months or so before I actually got around to doing it. And despite the fact that we've had (as far as I can tell?) ZERO VISITORS and ZERO COMMENTS, I've kept going with it. Mainly because...I find the (V)VAG to be quite entertaining. I get a genuine kick out of all this. So. One day, some day, we will have visitors. Or not. Who knows? I'm basically doing this for me, so who cares? My next Big Idea is...well, I'm gonna to keep that to myself for a while, until I work out the logistics of it, the Ins and Outs, the "deets" as the youngsters say nowadays.

At any rate, here's to the First 500  🎉🥳🎊🎂🍰🎂🎈🍸

And here's hoping that I can manage 500 more! 🎉🥳🎊🎂🍰🎂🎈🍸

American Flag (Acrylic on Canvas)

I'm assuming this is a Social Statement of some kind, or that there is an Important Message the viewer is supposed to get? 

Not my Cup of Tea. Sorry.

Snowy Landscapes (Acrylic on Canvas)

I could be mistaken but I don't believe these are the first Whatleys we've exhibited here. They are not great but they are certainly very good. I hope that doesn't come off seeming as if I am "Damning with Faint Praise" because these works are without a doubt in the Top Ten Percent of the almost 500 paintings on display here at the (Value) Village Art Gallery. But (and here's the downside) there is something about these paints that simply does not grab me. They are sparse and spare and minimalist, which is fine, but with three of them all in the same place here I find myself wondering if maybe they are sparse and spare and minimalist because that's all the artist has or is capable of. These paintings feel like...NPCs almost. Unfinished. Smooth and Characterless. The tree branches for example. If this is the Artist's intentional Style or Millieu or whatever, that's fine. It's just not one that grabs me at the time of this writing. Maybe it'll grow on me.

Cottage and Landscape (Acrylic on Canvas)

This painting verges on being a Clear and Present violation of my "Blue and Purple" rule (which is basically just "Don't use Blue and Purple!") But in this case, the skill level we are seeing is clearly above that of the typical Blue and Purple overuser/abuser. Despite there apparently being something wrong with the scale (the cottage is small and in the foreground while the tree to the right is large and in the background) what we are viewing here is Time and Effort utilized to create something that doesn't make my eyeballs want to vomit. It's certainly no masterpiece but it shows intent and promise. And I like that. Keep it up, broseph...

 

Abandoned Car Landscape (Acrylic on Canvas)

Recently I got to wondering if my reviews here have grown meaner over the years and I think I've decided that I've actually gotten nicer; much more charitable and patient...with these one-eyed color-blind emm-effers and their horrible horrible alleged paintings...than they deserve. Hahaha I added that last part just to be funny. I really do care about every artist here and every painting in this charming little Night Gallery of mine, even the pesky, unruly, red-headed stepchirren "1 on a scale of 1 to 10"s that we see so many of here.

THE REASON I BRING THIS UP is that...this painting is not 100% awful. Seriously. The composition is good. The flora, while slapdash certainly isn't the worst we've seen. The sky, the land horizon and the greenishnessity immediately preceding it is reasonably decent. If only the automobile hadn't been left so...Kindergarten/crayon-looking: realllly not sure what is up with that. 

Anyway, this painting definitely isn't as awful as one might assume upon an initial viewing. So there!

Sunflower and Rose (Acrylic on Canvas)

This might not be a sunflower. I don't know for sure. A daisy maybe? If it's a sunflower all I can say is Van Gogh has nothing to worry about. This is a dreary dreary painting without soul, without anything to say, and seemingly without cogitation. I almost typed contagion. Which is probably where my mind was running while thinking about this canvas and its overabundance of black paint and ennui. Quarantine this thing ASAP.

Weird Moon (Acrylic on Canvas)

Seeing this reminds me of the age-old paradox: "If God exists, why is there evil in the world?"

Southwestern Landscape (Acrylic on Canvas)

Another one of these (see: a few days ago): very odd. If I were to learn that this came from a coloring book specifically made for aspiring artists/painters, I wouldn't be surprised. It just has that look. Does anyone remember the old Planet of the Apes coloring books that were available in the early-to-mid-70s? The coloring pages were taken from actual movie scenes/shots, only with much less detail so that they would be easy for spazzy, dorky, weird little kids like myself in the mid-1970s to color. THAT is what this reminds me of: a painting done over the tracing of a photograph. I'm not saying that's what this is, I'm just opining.

I don't dislike this painting per se: I'm simply puzzled by it...

 

Purple Flowers (Acrylic on Canvas)

The colors (pink, purple, lavender, mauve, etc) make me nauseous but the flowers themselves aren't bad, in a very publically-available "copyright free" art kind of way. Do you know what I mean? These aren't "real" painted flowers: they're like the flowers you might find on a florist's signage. They're not bad, they're just...not very "framed art"-like.

They're better than I could do though!