Evening Sky (Oil on Canvas)

When I was a kid, about one weekend a year there would be commercials on a local TV station for an event called something like “Starving Artists Show” or “Starving Artists Marketplace” or something similar. I think it was like a planned, traveling event and the pitch was that this circus-like business would try to sell/move/unload “paintings by internationally known artists, at hundreds of dollars below the retail price!” So it was maaaybe real art, by real artists, but probably the kinds of artists that paint the same scene or image over and over again? I don’t rightly know how it worked exactly, but I think it was a way for product (art by artists in a stable of artists) to be moved by, well, a kind of Art Pimp. I wish I knew more.

Regardless, this is a nice painting. So nice in fact that either A) we’re very very very fortunate to have it, or B) it’s too nice; suspiciously nice even. So nice that I think it’s not done by a real amateur non-commercial non-mass-producing type of artist.

But: it’s SOOOOO WEIRD. Black. And Orange. And Yellow. It’s UGLY, in a good way, but not it a Brutalist kind of way. I’m having second thoughts now. This has GOT to be amateur art. No sane person would pay good money for this from a professional artist. But a sane person WOULD pay good money for this from an AMATEUR artist. I hereby declare this to be “A)” Final Answer. 

To the artist: nice work, bud!

Postscript: see 8/19/23 (“Hut on Lake or River”): same artist? Not sure. Definitely amateur if so. This is what the (V)VAG is all about. Excelsior!

Man Falling Out of the Sky Next to Oncoming Ocean Liner About to Crash into a Volcanic Island of Blue Flame (Melancholy on Ennui)

How does this keep happening? 

I realize that, since the era of PostModern Art, pretty much anything can be considered Art as long as you can convincingly pull it off, but…mannnn.

I guess the sorters at VV have a canvas, any canvas show up, with…something…anything on it, and they just figure “Hey, someone’ll buy it.”

I almost couldn't bring myself to exhibit this one. But I did. Mea Culpa.

Bird and Branch (Acrylic on Canvas. Literal Canvas. Like Maybe This Is A Canvas Book Bag On A Wooden Frame)

This thing makes my eyes hurt. I have no fucking idea what is going on here. Maybe this was a first attempt at stretching a canvas? The branch, for all its dimensionlessness and boring uniform brownness, isn't bad if judging by its shape alone. The bird is…what?…the Woodstock Bird or something? Unfinished fake phony First Grader leaves. This is unnerving!

Winter Scene (Acrylic on Canvas)

These were sitting right beside one another so I’m thinking they were intended to be hung together. If not, the one on the bottom here is realllllly not good: among other defects, the sky looks like an Impressionist ocean / battleship convoy. I think these two painting’s respective quality ratings (the first being uninteresting, the second being awful) averages out to a solid bad. Plus: BLUE AND PURPLE!!!

Reid (Charcoaol on Parchment)

Just kidding. But I really did think the rock said “Reid” on it at first.

Today’s entries feel like someone’s art class assignments that were ditched on the last day of school. They’re really…not…very great. But these folks tried, and that’s what’s important. Keep it up people! Never Surrender!
 

Faerie (Acrylic on Parchment)

Sigh. I had a great, mean, snarky, funny-as-hell remark all ready to go and...I just can't being myself to type it.

Some things are just too awkward for me to make fun of them.

Thus painting isn't great. But if someone under 18 did it, keep practicing. Nice effort. You've got heart, kid. I've got faith in you. Keep at it.

You can do it!

Misshapen Duck (Watercolor on Parchment)

This duck’s head is misshapen. It looks like Beavis!

It also looks like it’s up to no good. It’s probably mad at the world because of its deformity.

Haunted Wood (Acrylic on Canvas)

So I’m pretty sure the white smear in the center is the artist’s attempt to start over or at least change things around a bit within the painting in process. But after considering it a bit, I feel like this kinda works as a painting of a ghost or spirit of some kind floating through a secluded wooded area. 

Almost everything about this is bad: bad trees with bad limbs. Bad pathway (?) in the foreground. But taken as a whole, something about this alllllmost works in a “stand alone” way. Almost.

Lake and Fireweed

Stupid clouds. And so much blue: blue mountains, blue sky, blue water. But the Fireweed (?) breaks up the Blue Monotony. This almost fits into my ongoing “War with Blue and Purple” brouhaha but the green bits (despite being ugly, leaf-wise) and yellow and pink all combine to diffuse/dilute the blue/purple ratio sufficiently. Speaking of pink: the hot pink and the yellow in the foreground are sorta nice. More of that would’ve been better.

Lake Cabin (Acrylic on Canvas)

Probably one of the better “Group Paint Night” offerings we’ve seen in recent memory. It’s not what I’d call great, nor is it very interesting, but it’s also not demonstrably and painfully bad. There's a lot of black though and that’s pretty boring. Yes, I know it’s supposed to be night time. Still. Too much black! 

Horse and Woman (Acrylic on Canvas)

I could be wrong but I think (?) this person may have also done the triptych we hung here a few weeks back. I ragged on that other one a bit, perhaps unfairly, but eh I write from the gut: get over it. THIS ONE, however, I do kinda like. Not sure why, since Modern-y / PostModern-y / Abstract-y art usually leaves me unimpressed. I like Art to LOOK like stuff, y’know? Anyways, even though this looks like nothing the exists in Reality, it’s pretty cool. Yes, there is BLUE, but there’s no blue and PURPLE. And: the blue that IS there isn’t simply…slopped onto the canvas and rubbed around in a desultory manner as if one was cleaning a toilet with a scrub brush. There are definite signs of Good Taste and Geometry here. And I like the brownish / maroonish / whateveryacallit background. 

Well done, artiste!

Home and Surroundings (Pastel on Parchment)

(Value Village Art Gallery Favorite)

To my knowledge this is the first pastel to be exhibited here.

I like it. A LOT. Every so often I find a painting, such as this one, which for some reason doesn’t actually get my attention and/or full appreciation until I look at it more carefully while writing its review. This is one of those times.

Nice job!!!

Alaskan Landscape (Acrylic on Canvas)

I swear I’m starting to think that there’s an art teacher somewhere in Fairbanks telling his or her students “Now be sure to use LOTS of blue and purple okay?!?”

One day I’ll find the emm-effer and it’ll be on like Donkey Kong.

If you’re new visitor to the (V)VAG, allow me to explain: the colors blue and purple are my personal nemesiseseses - they are overused to a startling degree by many of the amateur artists here. For more information, click on any painting here that is blue and purple. They are minion.

Otherwise? The tree line with the yellow isn’t awful. The branches on the birch trees in the foreground need work. They look anemic.

Abstract (Acrylic on Canvas)

It’s too Modern and Abstract for my taste, and possibly (?) not much thought went into it, but for what it is, it’s pretty nice. I won’t go so far as to say that I like it, but it’s okay. Keep at it, Michele!

Landscape (Acrylic on Canvas)

I have no idea what I’m looking at here. Clouds that perfectly surround the sun in a blue sky? A horizon line of green below that, which makes sense, but then there are either stars in space, or a night time cityscape of some kind below that. And then a rock or boulder in a body of water?

Happy freaking Friday.

PS- it occurred to me that the boulder might be a reflection of the sun in the water? And that the “water” blue might be reflecting the “sky” blue? None of which would explain the lights/stars/whatever that we find in that swathe of black, of course. So I’m still confused.

Woman in Profile (Charcoal on Sketch Paper)

Sorry about the glare on the glass: I did my best. I personally am not a fan of charcoal sketches or pencil sketches of any kind, but this one is pretty nice. 

As usual with very personal and seemingly-intimate art of this type, I am always curious about the backstory: who was this woman? What was the artist’s relationship with her? Where were they then? Where are they now? A lot can happen in 26 years…
 

Octopus (Acrylic on Canvas)

Honestly? Not so great. The infundibulum need work. And this cephalopod’s limbs (commonly referred to as arms, legs or tentacles) are sub par. Judging purely by its coloration and physiognomy though, it may be surmised that we are gazing upon the Giant Pacific Octopus or perhaps the North Pacific Giant Octopus.

Girl with Pitcher (Colored Pencil on Parchment)

I walked past this thing on three different days before I realized that it’s probably (?) original art. From a distance it looks kind of good (boring, and the proportions feel a little off, but eh good) but then you get close to it and it’s so…not that great…that one comes to the conclusion that it HAS to be amateur art. This has happened two or three times here at the (V)VAG: an artwork shows up and it’s in such a liminal space of “is it good? is it bad? is it original or mass-produced?” that I really don’t know if it should be exhibited here or not. So as usual, I’ve included it. It’s assumed to be an original until I learn otherwise.

Winnie the Pooh (Acrylic on Canvas)

I don’t usually exhibit these “almost-certainly-done-by-a-little-kid” objets d’art: waaaaay too many of them wind up at VV, and I don’t want to hurt some little kid’s feelings (well, not generally.) But this one was so peculiar I figured I’d just go ahead and run with it. We’ve got Winnie the Pooh, a pear, a butterfly, a cat in a tree, a bee (on either a flower or a honeycomb), a slice of watermelon and a two cherries. Okay. Subject covered.

Popcorn (Acrylic on Canvas)

Yeah yeah, I know it’s a probably a Magnolia. Anyway, my wife is the brains in the outfit when it comes to flowers (and any number of other things) but she’s in out of town until Tuesday. So I’m calling this a Magnolia. Final answer. 

Merits: I like the background. Seriously! Demerits? The flower is deformed and way too fat. It looks like someone inflated it. Sorry.