Abstract (Colored Markers on Paper)

I had to photograph this from an angle in order to avoid having the fluorescent lights on the ceiling reflected in the glass of this frame.

I must be losing my touch. Because I really kinda like this one too. It has the benefit of being quite different from the stuff that normally shows up here. 

It’s fun: someone put some thought into this and took their time with it. 

And clearly it meant something to someone because they went to the trouble of framing it. I’m glad we have it :)

Don’t worry: I’ll be back to my old self (hyper-critical, mean-spirited, cynical) in a few days.

Patriotic Flower Jar (Acrylic on Canvas)

I’m not gonna lie: I sorta like these daisies! The jar sucks, the ribbon sucks, the stems suck, but the daisies…don’t suck. Or if they do, they (in combination with the blue sky behind them) suck in a somewhat appealing way.

Happy Hour (Acrylic on Canvas)

This one grew on me the more I looked at it. I believe the reason I like it is because it is probably (?) very unoriginal: I’m guessing that this is a reference to some other more famous work? It just has that look. Even if that’s the case, at least this is a fairly well-done knockoff. If I saw this hanging in someone’s home, my first thought would not be “who is responsible for this?!?”

Despite the (oft-overused by amateur artists) purples blues and dark greens, I like it.

Cocktails (Acrylic on Canvas)

I’d always heard that house painters were notorious for being drunk on the job. Now it all makes sense.

Moonlit Sky (Acrylic on Canvas)

“For members of our audience who are susceptible to seizures, please feel free to look away from this one: the wildly-varied and overly-bright color pallet chosen by the artist could prove overwhelming to sensitive viewers.”

Sixties Pattern (Acrylic on Canvas)

“YEAH baby!!! Do I make you HORNY?”

No, you make me wanna hurl.

Just kidding. This has two of my favorite 60s color schemes in it (Avocado Green, Orange) and is a valiant if not-overly-successful effort at making a vintage-y looking design. Don’t get discouraged, artiste: the next one will be better :)

Postscript (11/29/25): IT’S BACK!!! 😱

Orca Frolicking (Acrylic on Canvas)

My first thought here was “Cave Painting” so I’m going with that.

Mountain Lake (Acrylic on Canvas”

Another one that I don’t absolutely hate. With a little more effort, or ability, this could’ve been really nice. As it is, I’m not going to be too mean. The artist shows promise.

Flowers and Vase (Acrylic on Canvas)

I don’t absolutely hate this. But why is the vase floating in mid-air?

Birch Trees (Acrylic on Canvas)

Again with the birch trees! One would think we live in Alaska or something.

The background leaves (?) toward the top are appealing. But what’s going on with the upper areas of these trees. Are they Punji sticks? And what about this strangely-bent branch? What’s the story here?

Birch Trees (Acrylic on Canvas)

So much purple. What is it with amateur artists and purple?

My usual comment: these trees are far from ideal but they’re really not that bad for an amateur artist. And they’re certainly better than I can do. My trees (specifically my tree branches) look far more inorganic and artificial than I can adequately explain here. They have to be seen to be disbelieved. Not kidding.

Addendum: a brief digression on the subject of relativity. While you may be looking at these exhibits in the “most recent to older” order, please remember that they were placed here (and reviewed by me) in the opposite direction. So if you find yourself questioning my kindness towards these (admittedly rather awful) trees, consider the sad, stupid pile of rocks I had reviewed in all likelihood mere moments before and realize that, in comparison, these trees positively twinkle with overdone trite kitschy Alaskan treeness.

Rocks (Acrylic on Canvas)

I’m simply dumbfounded…

Birds and Tree (Acrylic on Canvas)

Ross McDonald would call this “Nightmare in Pink.”I’m pretty sure I can see the word “FUCK” in the branches towards the upper right. See if you can too!

Octopus and Flowers (Acrylic on Canvas)

An octopus is attacking the flower bed! Someone alert Captain Nemo!

(I actually kind of like the colors and composition of the flowers and the field. Amateur art-wise.)

Retrospective (Acrylic on Canvas)

It’s an Embarrassment of Riches. I really don’t know what to say here. Really. Like for real. Other than, yet again, there’s something about some of these paintings that leaves me feeling genuinely queasy. But there’s one that actually does kinda grab me. I’ll leave it to you to decide which.

Cabin and Woods (Acrylic on Canvas)

Not bad. Certainly the best of today’s offerings, but that’s damning with faint praise. Sorry about the glare (if that’s what that is?) on the left. I definitely like the flora more than the structure.

Moose (Oil on Canvas)

The frame is more of a work of art than what we find framed here. Not counting Bullwinkle, this is by far the weirdest-looking moose I’ve ever seen.  The rest is not without merit, though. Of the boulders (that look a bit like giant wasp’s nests?) the less said the better. But I have seen, in real life on occasion, trees that somewhat resemble the rotten broken burnt-out tree near the center of this painting. And while I can’t say that I’ve ever seen a lake (?) that wasn’t…umm…level, there is something about this that seems real. I kind of wonder if this isn’t a a painting of a photo? But who knows? Oh yeah: the colors are strangely washed out as well. Nature isn’t this dull and lifeless. Still, it’s kinda cool. 

Snowman (Acrylic on Canvas)

 I’d rather boo…

Coffee (Acrylic on Canvas)

It’s just…wrong. So wrong. Is that a wall? Or Northern Lights? The steam looks weird. The mug looks weird. There’s a knot (?) or stain or shadow (a brown shadow?) on the table. 

I’m starting to rethink this whole Art Gallery schtick.

On the plus side, it’s so wrong it IS kinda charming. In a clueless box wine bored housewife way. And the word “Coffee” is pleasantly written. There’s that.

Mountain Lake (Acrylic on Canvas)

It’s not great, but it’s not NOT great either. The strangely unnatural mountains are somehow rather appealing: I half expect to see some muscular Proletarians in overalls wielding sledgehammers nearby. But seriously: something about this is very likable. I think the composition makes it: the dark red fireweed on green and the overly-blue blue (which I’m normally opposed to) really works here. Bojemoi!