Pasture Landscape (Acrylic on Canvas)

Someone was making real effort to paint something worth painting. Is it great? Most definitely not. Is it good? Eh not really. But it is Real. And that’s what matters! There is potential here. Plus: COWS!

Keep painting, my friend.

Beach Scene (Acrylic on Canvas)

This is…really not that bad.

At first glance one might think it’s pretty low-effort and haphazard. The shadows in particular are awful (but in the artist’s defense, shadows are hard!) However, there IS something about this painting that hints at actual rudimentary talent in my opinion. No stink of the lamp here: the artist got in, got out, and viola! Initial attempts at actual art!

Not bad.

Trees, Girl, Lightning Bugs (Acrylic on Canvas)

More autopilot “Paint Night” jive (see link below to a practically-identical atrocity.) 

Sorry, but this type of thing is simply a waste of time and paint. 

“Tedious. Verrrrry tedious.”

June 2025:

 https://valuevillageartgallery.blogspot.com/2025/06/trees-stars-fireflies-maybe-acrylic-on.html?m=1

Mountain Landscape (Watercolor on Parchment)

Framed and behind glass: pardon my reflection (if there is one.)

Watercolor, as a medium, is kinda weird. It has been my experience that even bad subjects wind up looking pretty good if done in watercolor. This painting is a case in point: while it is not actively bad, it is rather hum-drum and simple. The trees for example, and more importantly the foreground: very dull and uninspired. But: the watercolor somehow manages to elevate and improve it all, just a bit. 

It’s…kind of not bad I think (?) 🤷‍♂️

Impressionist Stegosaurus (Acrylic on Canvas)

This almost didn’t make it into our gallery. But: since our Board of Directors have chosen to allow “Paint by Numbers” paintings, then prefab Stegosaurii such as this one should be allowed as well. 

Besides: a) I’m pretty sure a little kid probably did this, and we here at the (Value) Village Art Gallery strongly encourage all kids to ruin their lives by eventually becoming adult artists, b) the artist’s absurdly kid-like choice of colors kicks all sorts of ass, and c) dinosaurs are cool.

Rock on, my young homie: rock on…

Sunset Landscape (Some Kind of Thick Paint on Canvas Board?)

It looks like this was perhaps completed using an Adhesive Spreader (like when bathroom tiles are being stuck to a wall?)

As gimmicks go, this one is pretty original. And I like the color choices. Kinda neat :)

Marbleized Canvas (Latex Paint on Canvas)

Yet again (see review for installation below this one): I’m of the opinion that we need less of these things in the world, not more. However: this is a well-done example of the technique being used and I like the colors. 

Marbleized Canvas (Latex Paint on Canvas?)

Yeah yeah, I know: I keep saying I’m not gonna install any more of these but I keep doing it. I am not a fan of this technique but as paintings done in the style go, this one isn’t bad. It’s a slightly better choice of colors than we usually see.

Still. We could do with less of these darned things. A machine could make this. Pfft.

Artist: paint something, anything, that is real.

Real is better than Not Real.

Sea Turtle (Acrylic on Canvas)

 Ehhh…it’s okay I guess.

A Galaxy or Something Maybe? (Acrylic on Canvas)

Not super interesting. But honestly, it isn’t bad. I’m pretty confident that this is better than most amateur artists couple manage. Certainly better than I could do. 

For such a boring subject (and one that is in violation of my black/blue/purple etc rule) it’s pretty good.

Collage (Acrylic and Photos on Canvas)

Collage is definitely not my cup of tea. But this one is reasonably well executed at least. And colorful. Not bad at all…

Flowers (Acrylic on Canvas)

An Oldie but a Goodie.

Despite there being a) purple and 2) lots of unpainted (white) canvas left remaining, which is a clear violation of two of the Six Rules of Bad Amateur Painting, DESPITE ALL THIS, yes, we seem to have a rather nice painting on our hands. It’s a little umm basic, but still. These are some very decent-looking flowers!

Well done, Franki-who-was-painting-almost-forty-years-ago :)
 

Gnome (Acrylic on Wood)

We haven’t seen a gnome in good long while.

It was nice while it lasted…

Fat Wolf or Fox and Northern Lights (Acrylic on Canvas)

Too much blue, too much black, too much unpainted canvas and…a silhouette! Four of our six “Bad Amateur Painting” rules violated on one painting. Doh!

Flowers (Crayon, Tempera and Colored Pencil on Paper)

 A child probably did this. It is MAGNIFICENT!!! A+++++

(Ha! Were you expecting me to crush some little kid’s dreams? What kind of monster do you think I am…”

Mountain Landscape (Acrylic on Canvas)

Thoroughly average. But our baseline is pretty low.

If a kid did this: follow your dreams, my young friend 🙂

If a grownup did it: reconsider the path you are on…

Silhouette Cat (Acrylic on Canvas)

Pretty umm not that great. Plus it violates four of my rules about bad amateur painting: using black, blue, purple and silhouettes. Feh!

 

Fat Smoking Star (Acrylic on Canvas)

Really weird. Bordering on repugnant. No idea what the hell this is supposed to be about. But it’s a painting and this is an Art Gallery so 🤷‍♂️

 

Mountain Scenes (Acrylic on Canvas)

Same artist, same(ish) subjects, different paintings. Real Art and real effort expended. We support this kind of thing 100%

Good job, anonymous artistic-type person.

Coconuts (Charcoal on Parchment)

Framed and behind glass. I tried to stay out of the reflection.

It’s…not great but it’s not bad. It sort of looks like what it’s supposed to look like. Which around here is sometimes a little rare. 

Okay, so maybe the coconut on the left looks as if it could be an onion. But for the haters out there, consider that Van Gogh’s “Still Life, Basket of Apples” (1887) looked as if it could have been a “Basket of Gourds or “Basket of Walnuts.”

So let’s be charitable and cut J. Jonah Jameson here a break, shall we?