Water Lily (Acrylic on Canvas)

Monet has nothing to worry about…

Wooded Landscape (Watercolor on Paper)

I know almost nothing about watercolor painting. To anyone who does: do you think this was difficult to do? Or was it probably pretty easy? The reason I ask is because I like this a LOT! And I feel like it shows skill. But; if watercolor is super easy, maybe it’s not really all that great? Feel free to let me know. What I can say though is that I regret not buying this. Which, for me, is high praise indeed. Because I’m kinda tight with my money. Frugal is what I’m saying. Thrifty.

Anyway. Nice work, Dot. I hope you’re still at it.

Candy Warhol (Acrylic on Canvas)

I had originally (and not very creatively) titled this one “Candy Corn”, but I got as far as typing the caption “I’m imagining some Fat Kid version of Andy Warhol…” and realized OHHHH FUCK CANDY WARHOL!!! BWAH HAHAHAHA I’M A FREAKING COMEDIC GENIUS BWAH HAHAHAHAHA…

And that’s…the rest of the story!

Inscrutable Swooshes of Paint (Acrylic on Canvas)

My rule of thumb is: without there being a signature, if I can’t tell whether a painting is upside-down or not, I have carte blanche to make fun of it.

My other rule of thumb is: if I do a painting that I don’t like, I destroy it. That way, no one ever finds it and just assumes that I thought it was any good or (worse!) that I thought it was GREAT. Do you get my meaning? Am I coming through?

Thus Endeth the Lesson.

Magma Flow (Acrylic on Canvas Board)

“THE CANVAS IS LAVA!!!”

Again, I don’t dislike this. I’m just not sure what it is, how it was done, or even what with. I’m only guessing that it’s acrylic. It could be stomach acid for all I know. Or stem cells. Was this an experiment maybe?

It’s kinda cool though…

Uh Salad Bowl maybe? (Watercolor? on Paper)

Sort of ho hum but it’s not that bad really. I just don’t know what’s going on with it.
 

Ocean and Sky (Watercolor on Watercolor Paper)

As usual when I need information that civilized people are typically privy to, I ask my wife. I say this because I’m gonna have to ask her what “that thick, wavy, expensive paper used in watercolor painting” is called by members of polite society. I doubt it’s just called “watercolor paper.” Anyway, here’s another one by the previous artist. I like it too. It’s mellow and understated, while still being clearly recognizable for what it is. I’m a big fan of understated. I myself tend to go overboard. As a kid, I sent in an entry to a local tv news channel “draw the weather” thing they did every evening. Mine eventually got picked but only because it was so dumb. It had rain, storm clouds, lightning, a tornado, a tidal wave, an earthquake, snow, fog, and even a meteor shower I think. And a sun shining brightly in the upper right hand corner! I was in 5th grade. I wasn’t even trying to be funny. I was just goofy.

UPDATE: She said it IS just called watercolor paper after all. Who knew?

Mountain Range (Watercolor on Paper)

Mountain ranges are popular subjects for artists in these here parts. Fortunately for us, this person knew what he or she was doing. I like it. 

Dilapidated Cabin (Oil on Canvas)

(Value Village Art Gallery Favorite)

While it’s not my cup of tea subject-wise, this is clearly a very well done painting. I googled the artist’s name and there are lots of her paintings that I really DO like. The artist lived to be 93 years old and spent most of her life in Yucaipa California. How did this thing wind up at a Value Village in Alaska? Wow…

Gonna Ask My Wife What Kind of Flower This Is (Acrylic on Canvas Board)

(Value Village Art Gallery Favorite)

Jen said “It’s a Magnolia, dear.” And did so in a very condescending tone.

This is wonderful! I love it! Aside from the obvious talent, this is what being an artist all about in my book: Dulcie took a large canvas board and cut it into multiple smaller boards, for economy’s sake maybe? That’s some real “Tie down your easel!!!” stuff right there. Thanks Dulcie. You’ve made my day! I hope you’re still alive :)

Postscript: she’s not :/

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/90722700/dulcie-a-collins

Black Sunlit Sky and Jar (Acrylic on Canvas)

Sunlit skies aren’t usually BLACK, are they? Is this a Total Eclipse of the Heart? I just don’t understand. 

The only thing I sorta like about this is the plant/bouquet/whatever. Specifically, I like the orange-y leaves.

Familiar Mountain Landscape? (Acrylic on Canvas Board)

See February 7th, October 27th. Not 100% sure I’m correct though. If so, this is the best of the three: the artist’s “take” on the subject is original and refreshing. If not, I gotta say: I like this a lot. Nice trees! Nice clouds! Not bad mountains! The contrast/juxtaposition of bright/light sky and lake versus dim/dark tree area is nice. And there’s none of that oh-so-wrong el barfo “blue-to-purple” that keeps showing up around here.

The foreground is somewhat eh, but still.

I like it!

Profile (Chalk on Black Paper)

Matted. And framed. This kind of thing simply amazes me. Here we have a sketch that is demonstrably, objectively, Not Very Good At All. But someone cared enough about it to have it matted and framed. This is what I love about art. It is in the Eye of the Beholder. Unknown Artist: I salute you!

Native American (Charcoal Pencil on Parchment)

It’s just not that great is it? But someone cared enough about it to put a little paper frame around it and place it into a Mylar sheet for safekeeping. This was important to someone. So here, on this day, we honor it. Huzzah!

Literally No Idea (Acrylic on Canvas)

 

Your guess is as good as mine. I was thinking broccoli, or taffy, or umm what’s that plant I can never remember the name of? They make pies out of it. Rutabaga? RHUBARB!!! Is this rhubarb?!? Whoa… 

Jamaican Tree? (Acrylic on Canvas Board)

No idea what this is about. Is the white some kind of gimmick? Is Symbolism happening? Or was the artist simply in the process of starting over? We may never know.

Desert Landscape (Acrylic on Canvas)

Weird but kinda charming. Strange mountains. Ho hum sky. But I like the ground colors and the cacti. My brain keeps telling me the cacti are spelling something but I guess my brain is wrong.

Forest Closeup (acrylic on canvas)

This one ehhh I’m not so fond of. No signature. I’m seeing way too many birch trees lately. It needs to stop. The subject is starting to feel kinda kitsch, like…I dunno…people doing paintings of cowboy hats and horseshoes in Texas maybe? This ongoing birch tree jazz is becoming gimmicky and trite. Sorry.

Wooded Area (acrylic on canvas)

I actually like this one. It’s not dreary. You can tell what it is. The background trees are a little weird, but that’s okay! The green and yellow is something we just don’t see enough of, and the transition from orange to blue is refreshingly different from the ad nauseum “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing” blue to purple we are so often bombarded with up in here. Nice work RM! (who is not to be confused with RB!)

Portrait (acrylic on canvas)

I like it: the neck, the shoulder, and the delicate shading on both are really nice. It has baggage: someone cared enough about this painting (of what one would assume is a real person) to put a frame around it, only for it to wind up at Value Village. I wonder: what’s the backstory here? Who’s the doll? What was her relationship with the artist? What’s the bird’s-eye lowdown on this caper?