Penguin (Acrylic, Construction Paper, Black Velvet on Paper)

It’s cute. It has decent proportions and the color combination is appropriate (not counting the backing seen along the top and bottom.) It’s not bad! I like it. 

White Flower in Tall Grass (Acrylic on Canvas)

I was tempted to make a Shiki / Shitty joke, but I won’t. I do actually kinda like this. Although I’d like it a bit more if it didn’t have the faux profundity / daily affirmation-y sloganeering attached. I Googled “Shiki” and this may be a manga thing, which wouldn't surprise me a bit, considering the philosophical level of some of the stuff we’ve installed here in the past.

Did I mention that I like this? Sift through the snark and there are compliments here.

Keep painting, my friend.

 

Stupid Christmas Gnome (Acrylic on Canvas)

…but in this case, it’s a Halloween Gnome maybe? With a Magical Transparent Pumpkin Stem even! And an (almost) Transparent Arm. All in glorious brown, orange, gray and white. Pfft.

I’m just kidding. This gnome could be 100% opaque and painted by Van Gogh onto the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel in Technicolor and I would still hate it. These creatures are a nuisance. They should be rounded up and exterminated in large numbers.

Bistro Scene (Acrylic on Canvas)

I like it! It’s nothing very special: nothing very groundbreaking or earth-shattering is occurring here, no Message or Deep Thoughts or Lofty Ideals but that’s perfectly fine! Someone was Doing Their Best and of that I am aaaallllways a big fan.  Keep it up!

Oil Slick Gimmicky Thingie (Acrylic on Canvas)

Still not a fan of these, sorry. If a machine could convincingly do it, or if it could happen by accident, then I don’t consider it Art (maybe art, though.) Just the way I feel about it, sorry. Clearly some folks would disagree and must really dig these things cuz I find a fair number of them. Or, using that same logic, some folks must really NOT dig these things cuz they wind up at Value Village.
 

Glacier (Acrylic on Canvas)

Is this a glacier? Or just a weird island / rock formation? Not sure. For what it is though, this painting is not bad. It’s pretty basic, but there’s some talent here. Keep at it, unknown person :)

Eskimo Child (Acrylic on Canvas Board)

This is an old one, judging by the weathered condition of the backing, and the canvas board manufacturer graphics: I’m guessing 1970s to 1980s? 

I like it. It’s no-nonsense. Down to Earth. Someone wanted to do a painting of an Eskimo youth and they just went and did it. Was this of a real kid? Or is it from the artist’s imagination? We’ll probably never know.

?!? (?!? on ?!?)

File this one under “W” for What The Fuck?!? 

I have no clue what this is all about. From a graphic design standpoint it’s pretty professional-looking and if it wasn’t obviously hand-painted I’d say it was some kind of mass-produced advertising thingie. But it’s not. Someone MADE this, for reasons that are not clear to me. 

If anyone has any theories I’m willing to listen.

Stupid Winter Gnomes (Acrylic on Canvas)

I really don’t like these creatures at all. Thankfully we haven’t had to deal with very many of them lately but seeing as how we’re moving into the (ugh) Christmas season I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot more of these little bastards.

Don’t get me wrong. I like the point of Christmas, I just don’t like what it has become. It’s not about trees or decorations or gifts, or the food, or family. Those things are secondary perks that go with it. For some folks, that is. Others may not have any family, or money for decorations or gifts or Christmas-y food. You can have Christmas without any of that, and certainly without churning the ethers of Commerce and standing in line at the Post Office.

Anyway, this is a painting. Hopefully someone had fun painting it. It wound up at Value Village for $3.99 so that tells you how much it must’ve meant to someone.

Bah Humbug!

Biiiiiiiirch Treeeees (Acrylic on Canvas)

Do you know how many of these things have shown up at the (V)VAG over the past 22 months? I wouldn’t care if I were to never see another painted birch tree ever again. I mean it…

Addendum: Nine. It’s been nine. Out of approximately 320 paintings. So less than 3%. Aaaand this IS Alaska, right? So I apologize. 

From this side of the screen it feels like a LOT more than nine though :/

Abstract Overdone Technique redux (Acrylic on Canvas)

Another one. I like the colors on this one better than the previous but I don’t like the swirls quite as much. Not a fan but this is another good (i.e. not horrible) example of this voiceless, message-less, almost-but-not-quite pointless art form gimmick. As I’ve said before, a machine could do this. For what it is though it’s not bad.

Abstract Overdone Technique (Acrylic on Canvas)

Regulars here know I’m not a fan of this gimmicky trendy technique. This one is better than most. Except that the paint is on there really thick! And it has air-bubble holes in it. But as these things go, this one seems like a pretty good example. It’s okay.

Tropical Scene (Acrylic on Canvas)

This one is…sigh…how do I put this? It says nothing, it’s the art equivalent of cotton candy, BUT…it’s not bad. There is SOMETHING about this that is kind of appealing. The colors are absurd but they’re nicely done. The birds are comically average. The reefs (?) and island look like floating turds. But…this somehow actually works. It’s dumb but for what it is (junk food art) I rather like it.

Log Cabin and Weeping Willow (Acrylic on Canvas)

It’s bad, but like a few paintings we’ve added recently it’s not bad in the boring, repetitive, low-effort way that some of the bad paintings here are. This at least isn’t of the Northern Lights, or birch trees, or snow-covered mountains. I don’t hate this one. Keep trying, artist: “It Gets Better.”