Happy Bees (Acrylic on Canvas)

Something to consider: we see so much stuff like this because it’s easy. Anyone could paint bees like this. Anyone. Try painting a bee that looks like a real bee though and see how far you get. It’s tough! But in the “trying to” one learns and thereby becomes a better artist.

My point? I would rather see a bad painting of a real bee than a good painting of a fake, cartoony, stupid bee. 

Art is supposed to imitate Life. Here, we have our stupid, mindless, lowest-common-denominator Life imitating Art.

Tropical Scene (Acrylic on Canvas)

“Aloha”

Not very good, is it? But I will maintain to my grave that a brightly-colored bad painting is almost always to be preferred over a dark and dim bad painting. 

Here, we have some bright happy colors. Does it look like it was done with magic markers? Kinda. But would it gloom up wall? No way, Jose…

Landscape (Oil on Canvas)

This was almost Impasto-like. And semi/kinda/slightly Impressionist-feeling. I can’t make up my mind if this is really amateurish or if it’s kinda good. I’m leaning towards kinda good. For what it is, I mean. If an amateur did this, all I can say is keep painting buddy :)

Skeetch (Acrylic on Canvas)

Here we have a painting of one of the stars of the beloved Disney animated feature “Peebo and Skeetch.” Heartwarming, isn’t it?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAILEY!!! (Acrylic on Canvas)

All of us here at the (Value) Village Art Gallery hope that you had a wonderful birthday Hailey 😁

We also hope that this painting did not give you nightmares. 

 

Flowers (Acrylic on Canvas)

I almost always give even not-so-great flower paintings a reasonably-positive review, but brother is my patience being tested here. I’ve stated in the past just how much I loathe and detest black paint on canvas, and this right here is a good demonstration of why that is. Flowers are meant to be in the sunshine, damnit! What self-respecting flower would want to be sitting in the dark?!?

IT MAKES NO SENSE!

Amateur artists everywhere: please just stop it with the black paint. I implore you…

Abstract (Watercolor on Parchment)

I think (?) this is a watercolor. It was framed and  matted rather nicely behind glass (pardon the glare btw) so someone must’ve liked it thus I won’t give it too snarky of a review. I actually do like the combination of colors and shades of color here. It’s just that I personally usually like paintings of actual things, as opposed to those of tenuous, undefined shapes and blurs/hints of shapes.

Another Marbleized Painting (Acrylic on Canvas)

Yet again we have before us a fairly good example of a technique of which I am not a fan. It’s okay. Not sure what else can be said about a painting created by the action of paint having been poured onto a canvas.

Unnatural-Looking Nature (Acrylic on Canvas)

Trees, on Planet Earth at least, aren’t typically Blue and Pink. I don’t have the slightest idea what this is all about. But it’s weird. And bad. The paint texture almost reminds one of a vintage velvet painting. And there are definitely some weird ones of those. So maybe this was…intentional?

Who the hell knows…

Ugh These Things Again (Acrylic on Canvas)

This is actually really embarrassing. I have no idea why this photo came out so blurry. But it’s the only one I have. It Is What It Is 🤷 

ANYWAY, this painting looked even more nightmarish in focus, believe you me! 

I really really dislike these diminutive and unappealing beings/creatures/homunculi and, moving forward, I would very much like to see far fewer paintings of them.

So there!

Marbleized (Acrylic on Canvas)

I can’t guarantee that these three paintings are by the same person but they all appeared on the same day so I’m assuming so. I also don’t have the time or energy to review them separately. They’re okay, but I’m not a fan of this technique (as mentioned numerous times in the past.) These are good examples of that technique though, for sure. 

Mountain/Cityscape Scene (Watercolor on Parchment?)

It’s not that bad, honestly. It’s remarkably unboring. Especially when one considers just how many Mountain Seens (!) we’ve scene (!) here over the years.

This is something wrong with the depth or perspective with the trees on the right. I think the rule is big = close, small = far away. Here, we have small = close, which would mean those trees are about 3ft tall.

Other than that: it’s kind of okay I think 👍

More Northern Lights Again (Acrylic on Canvas)

Really just…not so great. 

Sorry. I call ‘em the way I see ‘em.

 

Alaskan Dogsledding Scene (Acrylic on Canvas)

It’s not great. And it feels like maaaaybe it was a Paint Night Group Subject. But there’s a decent degree of real skill here. “Things in Silhouette” is usually the sign of a bad Paint Night painting, but this one isn’t absolutely horrible. 

Keep at it, pal.

Marbleized (Acrylic on Canvas)

One of the better ones. We’re seeing a lot of these lately and while I’m not happy about it (since to me this feels more like a gimmick/knack than an actual craft or skill) this one at least is pretty nice. Very flower-like. 

I tentatively approve. 

Hummingbird and Flowers (Acrylic on Canvas)

Pretty average. But it’s certainly not bad. And it’s definitely not bad in the way that so many of our ehhh more bottom-tier paintings are. There is potential here.

Keep at it, my anonymous friend.

Ice-Fishing Gnome (Acrylic on Wooden Tile)

Is it considered racist to hate gnomes? Because I do. I hate gnomes. A lot.

But this is Art, I suppose. Technically. Arguably. So I’m including it. Despite my revulsion.

Forest Landscape (Acrylic on Pasteboard)

Yep, this was a “Paint By Numbers” kit, and an old one at that, I believe. It is one of the best ones we’ve yet seen / installed here. I very much like the Autumnal orange and yellow.

In the interest of transparency: The (V)VAG Board of Directors (that would be me) put a policy in place during our annual meeting in June of 2025 stating that completed “Paint By Numbers” kits are indeed a legitimate form of Amateur Art and are thus to be allowed in in our gallery. This decision was duly approved and ratified by our Executive Director (also me.)

Understated Minimalist Landscape (Acrylic on Canvas)

Another one that I initially assumed I would just wind up giving one of my usual snarky reviews to, but on second thought I don’t believe I will. It’s no masterpiece but it is somewhat likable. It feels…vaguely 1970s / 1980s. I can imagine this, or something like it, in an apartment with a lot of glass/chrome/black furnishings.

Not great but not awful.

 

Owl Wearing Sunglasses (Acrylic on Canvas)

One thing I’ll say: it’s original! And for what it is, it’s actually not bad, technique-wise. There’s some confidence here. And that’s a good-looking moon.

Going in, I had assumed I’d just make fun of this thing and call it a day. But I don’t believe I will. The only thing I don’t like are those vine-like branches. Otherwise? It’s kinda cool…

Marbleized (Acrylic on Canvas)

Another one (see below): same day, possibly by the same artist. But since I wasn’t absolutely certain, I chose to install this one separately. 

It’s good. Different from the usual examples of this technique we see around here. This one feels very fungus-y. Lichen-like. Mold-ish. I like it. The yellow helps. 

Marbleized (Acrylic on Canvas)

And here we have the 700th objet d’arte installed at the illustrious and award-winning (not really) Value Village Art Gallery! Thankfully no gnomes, birch trees or Northern Lights were involved. Later perhaps. Anyway, I’ve said in the past that I’m not particularly a fan of this technique but at least this is a well-done example of it. Huzzah!

700 installations! Whew! Less than 700 reviews of course, since some artworks have been added en masse (when multiple paintings found on the same day appeared to be done by the same artist) but I’m guessing probably ehhh 650 separate reviews, minimum. Still and all, fairly impressive, even if I do say so myself. Honestly I’d figured on quitting when we hit 500 exhibits, but I kept going. Mostly due to inertia. Or is it momentum? Pfft. So now maybe I’ll just call it quits when we hit 1000. We’ll see…

Abstract (Acrylic on Canvas)

I regret not taking a better photo of this one. Because for an Abstract or whatever the heck this is, it’s actually not bad. Personally I could do without the Hot Pink bit towards the center, but still: this is one of the better examples of this kind of thing, whatever it’s called. I kinda like it!

Abstract (Acrylic on Canvas)

I have a number of mortal enemies, nemeses, foils, “Player(s) on the Other Side” when it comes to Egregious Art Errors, some of which are the colors blue, purple, black and grey as they are the colors most commonly used (over-used, rather) in Amateur Art. Another would be…The Abominable White Canvas. To explain: there should never be any unpainted surface left remaining on a canvas. Ever. Ever Ever Ever. It is the Sigil of the Amateur Artist: it is lazy and ugly and…yeah…it’s just not good.

As in the example above. I rest my case.

Camper in the Woods (Acrylic on Canvas)

Really really strange.

Flowers (Acrylic on Canvas)

Not so great: weak and strangely-oversized flowers, vase-shaped water magically suspended in mid-air without an actual vase containing it.. But…the leaves…and the stems…are marginally interesting. I kind of like them.

Artist: filling your remaining white canvas with color would have improved this painting. There’s no fixing those flowers, but filling the unused canvas would distract the viewer from them at least.

Birch Trees (Acrylic on Canvas)

I’m guessing our Perp er um Aspiring Artiste was probably trying out some kind of Instagram Technique here. It didn’t work.

Would-be Artist: go out into the woods and paint some real birch trees. You know, those things that are growing out of the ground with Chaga on them. 

Stand on the ground in front of one and paint from the Gut!

And stay off Social Media.

Deer and Forest Creek (Acrylic on Canvas)

Pretty sure this is by the same person as a few other paintings we’ve installed here today. 

Either way, this is another one that is kinda basic and light on detail while still managing to be appealing. I like it. The artist shows promise!

Keep painting, my friend.

British Landmarks and Orchard (Acrylic on Canvas)

Kinda weird. But it’s Art. 

Keep at it, artistic person!

Seashore (Acrylic on Canvas)

Very not so great. Almost nothing here looks like what it’s supposed to look like. 

For once, I’m glad that a canvas is unsigned…

Swan (Acrylic on Canvas)

It’s really reallllly basic. But it’s also basically Real. Regulars here will know what I mean by “Real”: the artist (maybe a little kid, maybe not) was trying hard and painting something that has a degree of relevance and that doesn’t make me want to gouge my eyes out. This one fits the bill.

Hahaha “fits the bill”. Get it? 

Because geese have bills.

Sigh.

Water Lily (Acrylic on Canvas)

Happy New Year!

Today we have a veritable Embarrassment of Riches: eight paintings are being installed. Woot!

This one right here? It is, without a doubt, the best of the bunch. You’ll see what I mean.

Anyway: I like this one a lot: we have some real talent on display here. It’s a shame there’s no signature. Oh well. 

Great job, artiste (whoever you are): Claude Monet rests peacefully in his grave, quite stationary, immobile, not rotating at all.

POSTSCRIPT: This might be a lotus. Whatever.