Winter Scene (Acrylic on Canvas)

I need a drink.

In Real-World-Land where I live (and write snarky, mean-spirited Art Reviews) today was the first snowfall of the season. 

In Bad-Artville, the trite hackneyed pooped and demoralized snow you are seeing here will never ever ever melt (unless this canvas gets set on fire.)

Burn This Immediately.

Beach Scene (Acrylic on Canvas Board)

The problem with Art since the advent of Social Media is that so much of it has become insanely "I-Focused." I don't know that I can explain myself properly, and of course there will be a degree of generalization if I do (also, there's the very real possibility that I'm completely Full Of Shit.) But...okay, it's like this: once upon a time artists, either "just for fun"  amateur artists or "in training" / "aspiring-to-be-real-artists" artists would paint a Still Life, or a legit Landscape, or a Self-Portrait, or whatever. Those days are practically gone. Because as self-focused as most people are, no one wants to paint a potentially unflattering painting of themself. And Still Lifes have disappeared because almost nothing of any import, Millenial-wise, is "still" anymore. And real Landscape paintings have disappeared because no one goes out into nature. Or if they do, they are taking selfies with it behind them, making videos and reels and posting them to (you guessed it) Social Media. Art, real Art, is disappearing in the same way that film photography, pay phones and the Sears Catalog have. It, painting-type Art, is 90% redundant in 2025. To even view most new Art, you have to do so on a screen. Digitally, not Analog...ally. Kinda like you're doing right now, n'est-ce-pas?

But I digress. The painting shown above is another example of made-up, "This Is What I I I I I Like" jive: here's a beach chair, here's a palm tree, here's a starfish. Honest to Gosh, I'm surprised there's not an Umbrella Drink and a pair of flip flops off to the side. OR that it's not a POV with toenails-painted feet sticking out at the bottom and the brim of a floppy hat brim drooping over along the top. 

Anyway. Does this look like a beach? Pfft I guess so. Does it matter, at all? Nope.

To the artist: my ongoing advice is for everyone (that'd be YOU in this case) to paint something real. In the world. Preferably while it is right there in front of you. Paint something organic. Nothing Sub/Pop/Counter Culture related, no cocktail glasses, no sunglasses, no high-heeled shoes, no purses, nothing related to Breakfast At Tiffany's, nothing involving "Live Laugh Love" faux profundity, and nothing digital. If you have to take a picture to use as a reference while painting: never post that photo online, and delete that photo when you are finished painting.

If you do your next painting as I have suggested to you here, even if it is...I dunno...only one half of one percent as good as the classically competent, beautiful, real-artist-human-being-person-created "TIE DOWN YOUR EASEL!!!"-type painting below, which I found recently on (ugh!) Reddit, it will be better than your Beach Scene shown above. Trust Me.

You can do it. I have faith in you. Channel Gulley Jimson. Paint from the Gut.

Never Surrender.

Confetti Landscape? (Acrylic on Canvas)

Anyone have any idea what this is all about? I sure don't. It could be upside-down for all I know.

Someone spent a lot of time putting multicolored splotches of paint onto a canvas.

That's...about it.

Clowns (Acrylic on Canvas)

Some people are scared of clowns. Not me: I'm scared of Bad Art. 

Just kidding. This actually isn't that bad. Someone was Trying Hard here and I support that 100%! Also, this painting obviously meant something to someone because they held onto it for close to forty years.  

I wonder where Dana and Jim are now? :/

Northern Lights (Acrylic on Canvas)

We appear to have, yet again, another really bad Northern Lights painting on our hands.

Nothing else needs to be said here. The work speaks for itself.

Mountain Scene (Oil on Canvas)

This thing was absolutely huge: about 42" by ehh I forget now. But you get the picture. Haha I made a joke there. Sigh. Anyway, for a huge and expensively-framed painting, it's just not that good. Green and brownish-pink (?) aren't a good combination and aren't typically seen in nature as portrayed here. I also don't know what we are seeing in the left-of-centerish area. Is it a ski slope maybe? I honestly can't tell.

Mug With Stuff Coming Out Of It (Pastel on Parchment)

I'm really not sure what this is supposed to be. It looks like it should be good, but somehow it...isn't? Kinda like those AI paintings from a few years ago that at first glance look like an identifiable thing, but on closer inspection it becomes obvious that something is way way off. 

Same here.

Christmas Plant (Acrylic on Canvas)

Not so great...

Pikachu (Acrylic on Canvas)

It looks...kinda mad. And is it supposed to have claws like that?

I'm skeered.

Abstract (Acrylic on Canvas)

I do not know what this is supposed to be, but I sort of like it. Sort of. The bottom right corner is a little odd though: the impression is that of something different superimposed there. At any rate, I like it. 

Not sure why 🤷‍♂️ I just do.

Sunset (Acrylic on Canvas)

I think I may wind up surprising my regulars here by saying that I actually don't dislike this. As some of you may know after being told it so many times already, the pervasive use/overuse/abuse of black, blue and purple in amateur paintings is my own personal White Whale, my Windmill, my Kryptonite. But...this painting, right here? It's not entirely horrible! Believe it or not, I don't abhor, loathe and detest the way the black has been made use of here.

Artist: you've done reasonably good work here (But watch it with the black. Don't overdo it buddy...)